Friday, February 29, 2008

Loretta doesn't allow white literature in our house

Cleveland, Peter's level-headed (and sorta hen-pecked) drinking buddy on the
animated Fox series
Family Guy, could
be getting his own show. Fox and 20th Century Fox are developing a spinoff
centered on the character, written by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, Mike
Henry (who voices the character), and
Simpsons alum Rich
Appel, who is an executive producer on Fox's other animated MacFarlane series,
American Dad. The project is tentatively titled (wait for it...)...Cleveland.

I think I speak for most Family Guy fans who'd rather have a show dedicated to Quagmire.
"Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Mailer's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around."

quick LOST note

it was friggin awesome, I will hopefully do a recap tomorrow, one of the best episodes of the entire series ever, brutha

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Fins set to trade for Cowboys DT?


Trade Winds Brewing Down In Miami?
Ok, so the Dolphins started with the front office guys. Then they got a head coach and then three more assistants.

They’ve signed a few players who were with the Cowboys at training camp in the past.

And now it’s time for the big-named players.

The Cowboys and Dolphins apparently are close to a trade that will send defensive tackle Jason Ferguson to Miami in exchange for draft picks. But don’t get too excited about that part.

Don’t expect the Dolphins to be sending any first-day picks. It’ll probably be in the neighborhood of a fifth- or sixth-round pick, possibly both.

But should anyone really be surprised?

Ferguson tore his biceps tendon in the season opener against the Giants and spent the rest of the year on injured reserve. He’s 33 with 11 years of NFL experience and if that’s not enough, the Cowboys shelled out big bucks to keep Jay Ratliff and already have Tank Johnson coming back next season, playing for the NFL minimum.

As for Ferguson’s contract, it is hardly for the minimum. He was scheduled to count $5.62 million on the salary cap. While the Cowboys do wipe off his $4 million base for 2008, they will take a signing bonus proration of $3.2 million this season. So add it all up and if Ferguson is not on the team in 2008, the Cowboys will save about $2.4 million.

Ferguson shouldn’t have any problems fitting in. This will be the third time to reunite with Bill Parcells and he’ll even be coached by Kacy Rodgers, the defensive line coach here who jumped ship to Miami to join Tony Sparano, Todd Bowles and Paul Pasqualoni.

As I said before in the post about Shaun Rogers, 3-4 Nose Tackles are hard to come by... getting a legit one like Ferguson, who already knows the system from Dallas is definitely worth a 5th or 6th rounder.

Missed It By THAT much

when I was a kid, I used to love the reruns of Get Smart, starring the perfect Don Adams. The original TV show was created and written by Mel Brooks & Buck Henry. This trailer actually looks halfway promising (I should note I am a sucker for physical comedy) with (from who I could tell) Steve Carrell (as Max Smart), The Rock, the yummy Anne Hathaway (as Agent 99), (as Sigfried) Terrence Stamp (that's General Zod to you and me, friends), one of my favorite actors of all time - Alan Arkin (as the Chief), Heroes' Masi Oka, and the fat hairy guy who played Borat's sidekick ("LICK MY ASSHOLE").

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Bill Walton vs Will Ferrell in H-O-R-S-E

Fins trading for Shaun Rogers?

from a Detroit paper

Dolphins jump into Rogers' trade talks
by Tom Kowalski
Wednesday February 27, 2008, 8:47 PM
According to a source close to the situation, the Miami Dolphins -- who were not involved five days ago -- are now one of five AFC teams in trade talks with the Detroit Lions involving defensive tackle Shaun Rogers. Bill Parcells, Miami's executive vice president of football operations, has spoken very highly of Rogers in the past -- when Parcells was the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys and preparing to play the Lions.

Two of the other four AFC teams involved in talks with Detroit are the New York Jets and Denver Broncos. Rogers cannot be officially traded until 12:01 a.m. Friday morning. The Lions are seeking at least a second-round draft pick for Rogers or a third-round pick, coupled with a veteran player or other draft considerations.

he certainly fits the bill as a nose tackle in a 3-4 which the Fins are going to run (yet they don't have a legit plug like Rogers could be) -- a 2nd or 3rd+ is a lot to give up in a trade. Word also is Jets LB Jonathan Vilma is in Detroit for a physical and could be traded to the Lions - if the Jets are in on Rogers, maybe they get traded for each other.

Next Year's Oscar Winner?

Movie Review: Darjeeling Limited

Ok, here's the caveat. Writer/Director Wes Anderson is definitely an acquired taste -- I think either you really "get" and like his quirky work or you think he is terrible, I don't think there is a middle ground.

I really liked Darjeeling Limited, probably his best work since Rushmore. His usual themes of family issues, death, isolation even when together, discord, melancholy, and trying to shed one's baggage (in this movie quite literally) are on display.

Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, and Jason Schwartzmann play three brothers who haven't spoken to each other in the year since their father's death. Owen's character plans a trip, a trainride across India on "The Darjeeling Limited" locomotive with his two brothers to go on a spiritual journey and for them to reconnect and bond. He also has an ulterior motive that they don't know about - to visit their estranged mother who is a nun in the Himalayas - she didn't come for their father's funeral.

Owen's character Francis is a rich businessman, and he has bandages and gashes on his face from a near fatal motorcycle accident. Schwartzmann's character is a lovelorn novelist (his girl is introduced in a 15 minute short before the actual movie starts, and she is played by Natalie Portman. A nude Natalie Portman. A naked nude Natalie Portman. There is a god). Brody's brother is expecting his first child in a month with a wife he expected to divorce.

I think the tone of the movie - the uncomfortable awkwardness of the brothers trying to bond together spiritually really comes through. An unexpected, shocking plot twist helps put things in perspective for them that they otherwise couldn't do themselves. This movie, like most of Anderson's leaves you (well, me anyway) thinking about life afterwards.

If you're a fan of Anderson, definitely rent this movie, and let me know if you agree with me that it is one of his finest works - better than Life Aquatic and Royal Tennenbaums in my opinion.

It gets 3 out of 4 Lanes from me, the trailer is below.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Happy 90th Don Pardo!

In case you missed it at the end of SNL, Tina Fey announced it was legendary announcer Don Pardo's 90th birthday, and he has been working at NBC since -1944-


I remember a sketch they did in the Dana Carvey/Phil Hartman years of SNL on what the future would be like and they had a the voice of Don Pardo transplanted into a tortoise so he would be the voice of NBC for 150 years... looks like he is beating them to it.

Jimmy Kimmel is ****ing Ben Affleck

this was in response to Sarah Silverman's video "I'm ****ing Matt Damon"

Sarah's was funnier, this was more star studded - Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Cameron Diaz, Macy Gray, Robin Williams, Perry Farrell, Lance Bass, Huey Lewis, Josh Groban, I believe I saw Joan Jett in there, McLovin' was there, plus others I am blanking out on or didn't recognize...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Huckabee on SNL

Governor Huckabee was terrific, maybe he can become a cast member when he drops out of the race

SNL's new Obama

is... Fred Armisen. I guess there isn't one funny skinny black comedian in America.

I thought the show last night was pretty "meh" - some things were funny, especially Gov. Mike Huckabee who poked fun of himself on Weekend Update & Tina Fey's Update rant. I also liked the commercial the girls did for the pill that makes them have their period once a year. Steve Martin made a cameo in the monologue showing Tina Fey she needs to think of herself as a performer not a writer. I kind of liked the Celebrity Apprentice takeoff, with the odd impersonations they did. Hammond was Trump, but they had Sudeikis as Iron Chef Judge Ted Allen & Kristin Wiig as Jennifer Tilly (pretty funny impersonation). The new cast member did a decent Rachel Ray and Keenan was Charles Barkley (not as good as Frank Caliendo's). They then did Celebrity Apprentice SVU with Mary Jo Buttafucco (Tina Fey) and Hader did John Mark Carr, the weird Jon Benet Ramsey "confessor". I love Hader when he does offbeat stuff like this. Fred Armisen was celebrity judge Gene Simmons (great job).

Apparently, Maya Rudolph is not on the show anymore, she wasn't even listed in the credits.

Across the Universe

ok, I watched the surrealish musical Across the Universe from Netflix the other day. Being a big Beatles fan, I was looking forward to it. Visually it was very appealing and I give it bonus points for its creativity, but it was so goddamn long that the plot device they used of weaving Beatles songs and characters into the movie went from innovative to contrived & annoying by the end. Also, more chick flicky than I anticipated it being. Don't waste your time.

One caveat: the singer who played Sadie (singer acrtress Dana Fuchs) was awesome - great voice, throaty & smoky, kind of like a Janis Joplin type, she reminds me of Joan Osborne. I'd like to Fuchs her myself.

I'd prefer to watch this cute asian kid sing the Beatles all day long than watch Across the Universe again.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Dude, Where's My Vaccine?

Nice story out of NYC.. -LINK-

Bartender at Celeb Nightspot Had Hepatitis A; Served Same Night as Ashton Kutcher's Birthday Party
Friday , February 22, 2008

A bartender at a hot New York City celebrity nightspot had hepatitis A, the Health Department confirmed Friday — and was working the same night that Ashton Kutcher held his star-studded birthday party there earlier this month.

The New York City Health Department confirmed it notified patrons of Socialista of the exposure on Feb. 7, Feb. 8 and Feb. 11 and urged them to get a hepatitis A vaccination as a precautionary measure.

Kutcher was joined by dozens of celebrities at Socialista on Feb. 7 to celebrate his birthday, reported. While the Health Department could not confirm exactly who was there, TMZ reported that Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Salma Hayek and Bruce Willis were among the guests.

Bar owners estimate roughly 700 to 800 people may have partied at Socialista on those three nights; no additional cases of illness have been identified.

"We are asking these bar patrons to get this vaccination as a precautionary measure," Sharon Balter, a Health Department official, told MyFoxNY. "If people experience symptoms, they should see a doctor, but for most people bed rest and avoiding alcohol are all that is needed to recover. This incident serves as an important reminder to always wash hands thoroughly and regularly to prevent the spread of disease."

Hepatitis A is a liver disease caused by a virus that is spread by putting something in one's mouth (even though it might look clean) that has been contaminated with traces of fecal matter from an infected person, according to the Health Department.

Symptoms include jaundice (yellowing of eyes and skin), fatigue, abdominal pain, nausea and diarrhea. While some people who have chronic liver disease or a weakened immune system could experience more severe illness and require hospitalization, hepatitis A very rarely is fatal (fewer than 1 percent of cases).

Wouldn't it be a great if this story was just an elabotate PUNK?

"Hey Madonna! Nice Jaundice but YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D!!!!!"

"Hey Bruce Willis! Yippie-Kay-Yay, YELLOW EYES!!!!"

"Gwynyth - You may have gotten the Oscar for Shakespeare in Love -- To be, or not to be INFECTED, that is the question!"

Do you have anything light to read? How About This Leaflet?

I think we might have a record on our hands in South Florida!

All 4 major league sports owners are MOT!

Heat - Mickey Arison
Marlins - Jeffrey Loria
Panthers - Alan Cohen
Dolphins - Stephen Ross

Yay for us! We may not be athletic but we can own the hell out of teams. It gives ME nachas anyway. And for you non MOT readers, I am not referring to Mexican chips that you dip in salsa.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Some good things happened for the Dolphins today

In my opinion, some important things happened for the Fish today

  • The Atlanta Falcons won the coin toss that gives them the #3 overall pick, the Raiders pick #4, and the Chiefs now pick #5. Important on several fronts. If the rumors are true and the Falcons covet Matt Ryan to be their new QB and face of the franchise they would have to give up less compensation to swap picks with the Fins, theoretically, as the #3 pick is more valuable than the 4th or 5th spot. Why is the Falcons potentially giving less compensation good for the Fish? Because it makes a deal more likely to happen. The Falcons have two second round picks, #37 & #48 overall, and #68 in the 3rd round. The NFL Draft Value Chart, while somewhat antiquated, assigns point values for each pick in the draft. It gives #1 overall a total worth of 3000 points. It gives #3 overall 2200 points. The Falcons #37 is worth 530 points and #68 is worth 250. That's almost exactly even in value, and the Dolphins would then have picks #3, 32, 37, 57, 64, & 68. That's how you rebuild, friends. At #3, they also would be able to potentially take the same player they would have taken at #1, Dorsey or one of the Longs and not pay a premium for giving him #1 overall money. Falcons cornerback Deangelo Hall also stated he wants out of Atlanta and could be part of a package as well.

  • Another bit of good news is that top rated running back Darren McFadden of Arkansas had a press conference and announced he would be working out in full at the combine, except for the bench press. This means he'll be running and getting timed. EXCELLENT NEWS. McFadden is seen as the top skills player in the draft and if he has outstanding workout numbers and wows the scouts, this is great news for the Fins. It is unlikely the Dolphins would take a running back #1 overall, as they already have Ronnie Brown, and Parcells has been on record saying he wants a position that has a chance to be a 10 year pro when he pays someone that much money guaranteed. If McFadden slays the workout, someone might fall in love with him and give the Fins an offer they can't refuse.

  • Fins owner H. Wayne Huizenga announced he has sold 50% of the the team to New York/Palm Beach Real Estate Billionaire Stephen Ross, whp grew up in South Florida for $550 million. Huizenga looks like a pauper next to Ross, with his net value being listed at $2.5 billion and Ross' at $4.5 billion. Huizenga bought the Fins from the Robbie Family for $138 million in 1994. That's what you call a nice return on investment. Huizenga has been a dream owner for the football people since he became owner. He is willing to spend and very hands off. A blessing and ultimately his curse, as he allowed the mismanagement of the Dolphins to go on for years -- from pushing Shula out the door in favor of Jimmy Johnson, to convincing Jimmy to stay an extra year after he resigned, to allowing Jimmy to handpick his successor, Dave Wannstedt and giving Wannstedt total player personnel control, to stripping Wannstedt of GM power and replacing him with inhouse doofus Rick Spielman. While conducting the GM search he interviewed and passed on Jerry Reese (who just won the Super Bowl as GM of the Giants, Ted Thompson who went to the NFL title game as GM of the Packers, Phil Savage who has the Browns on an upswing). Huizenga hired Nick Saban, who screwed him over, hired Randy Mueller, who in turn hired the doomed Cam Cameron who both decided to draft Ted Ginn and his family instead of everyone in Miami's choice QB Brady Quinn. Huizenga says he will stay on as managing partner and Bill Parcells would not have come here had Huizenga not given him his word he won't be going anywhere for the time being. For the long run, getting rid of Huizenga is a good move for the Fins. (I didn't even go into how he fucked the Marlins after the 1997 World Series).

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fins Draft News: Kiper says Falcons covet Matt Ryan

This is great news for us Fins fans (if not a smokescreen which it probably is): In a conference call with the Miami Herald, Mel Kiper claims the Falcons (owners of the 3rd or 4th pick, to be determined tomorrow in a coin flip) are in love with Boston College QB Matt Ryan, so much so that they could be willing to trade to the #1 spot. Of course, the Falcons are in desperate need of a franchise player since their last one is in the Federal Penitentiary for killing dogs.

The latest rumor? That the Atlanta Falcons are so in love with Matt Ryan of Boston College that they would swap the No. 3 overall pick and other considerations with the Dolphins to take him.
By the way, the Falcons have to first win the No. 3 pick as it will be decided in a coin toss Friday. Oakland and KC could also win the slot.
The trade with Atlanta nonetheless has merit as I've heard mild rumblings from NFL people that Atlanta badly wants a franchise quarterback and Ryan is the only certain guy at that position in this draft. So if that supposed love by the Falcons is true enough that the they would give up this year's second-round pick and maybe another pick next year, I would say the trade will happen.

That's because Miami likes Ryan. But the Dolphins have not yet fallen in LOVE with Ryan as the first overall pick. .

On the decision facing Bill Parcells concerning the first overall pick: “He has a decision to make initially about John Beck and if they don’t feel like John Beck’s the right guy moving forward with, then you look at Matt Ryan. I think Matt Ryan is the kind of quarterback that would fit what Bill wants. … You look at what Drew Bledsoe had coming out and you see some similarities there. I think the first question is, if John Beck’s not their guy, the first pick overall - where do you go? Had they drafted Brady Quinn last year -- the previous organization -- instead of Ted Ginn, then they wouldn’t be drafting Matt Ryan. Brady Quinn would’ve been their guy moving forward. But, the fact that they went Ted Ginn and then John Beck obviously puts them in a position that instead of utilizing that pick for another position, now they’re pretty much forced to take Matt Ryan.”

If the Fins trade down to the 3 or 4, they are really in the cat-bird seat. They can still get their pick of the best player available (Glenn Dorsey, Chris Long or Jake Long) and get another top pick in the 2nd round and perhaps a player from Atlanta, such as disgruntled corner DeAngelo Hall (although with a new coach, he may be gruntled once again). The Fins have so many holes that they need quantity and a high 2nd plus a pick next year or later pick this year would be what the doctor ordered. They could even trade down once again to a team who covets Darren McFadden, if he is still there and pick up even more loot.

I hope this is true, this would be a dream scenario for Parcells and the new regime.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Ann Coulter gets embarrassed at Publix

From the NY Post:

"February 20, 2008 -- ANN Coulter suffered a serious embarrassment over the weekend when her credit card was declined in Palm Beach. According to our spy, the nutty arch-conservative was caught at 9:45 p.m. Saturday night in the 10 Items or Less line at the local Publix when her card was rejected. "She was embarrassed but didn't make a scene," our witness said. "She just paid with cash and ran out of there. But at least she's eating."

Man, how awesome would it have been to be behind her in line and offer that C U Next Tuesday a fiver to pay for her snackwells and cigarettes.

I Pity The Fool... who doesn't watch NBC's vintage series internet streams for free!

I wish they'd add other classic NBC shows like Amazing Stories, St Elsewhere, Hill Street Blues, LA Law, Crime Story, Remington Steele, Quantum Leap, and of course, Manimal, BJ & The Bear, and that Loni Anderson-Jack Elam vehicle, Easy Street. They don't even address the sitcoms of the 80s all with great theme songs from NBC like Diff'rent Strokes (who here doesn't remember the very special episode where Gordon Jump touched Dudley's pee-pee?), Facts of Life (ooh, Tootie, so sassy with your braces and roller skates), Silver Spoons (mmm Erin Gray), Cheers, Night Court, Family Ties, and 227 (which introduced the world to a sexy talent named Jackee). Name some more classic (and not so classic) shows I am forgetting that they should stream online

BURBANK and NEW YORK – February 19, 2008 – NBC Digital Entertainment and NBC Universal Cable Entertainment today announced plans for streaming vintage television content on their entertainment websites. Full episode streaming of classic, fan-favorite series including "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour," "Kojak," "Miami Vice," the original "Battlestar Galactica," "A-Team" and "Emergency" will be offered on,, and beginning this month.

"NBC Universal has a tremendous library of quality content and we are very excited to re-introduce these classic shows to a new web audience," said Vivi Zigler, Executive Vice President, NBC Digital Entertainment.

"These are the kinds of titles we get requests for all the time at the network, and now we're able to give our viewers a new way to watch their favorite classic shows and share them with their friends," said Craig Engler, Senior Vice President,

"Fans of Chiller and Sleuth are going to have a great time re-discovering classics like 'Night Gallery' and 'Kojak,'" said Dan Harrison, Senior Vice President, Emerging Networks, NBC Universal Cable. "These are timeless series that are going to find entirely new audiences on the web. This platform is another great extension of our new digital brands, Sleuth and Chiller, which extend from television into on-line and now on-demand video."

A full list of streaming vintage series follows:
"Night Gallery"
"The Alfred Hitchcock Hour"
"Miami Vice"
"Battlestar Galactica" (1978)
"Buck Rogers"
"Battlestar Galactica" (1978)
"Buck Rogers"
"Tek War"
"Night Gallery"
"The Alfred Hitchcock Hour"
"Swamp Thing"
"Night Gallery"
"Miami Vice"
"Simon & Simon"
"Night Gallery"

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

We Broke 1000 hits

1000 unique visitors have stopped by


thanks everybody, I hope you enjoy the blog

Just Give Him The Damn Geritol

Yahoo Sports is reporting that Keyshawn Johnson is mulling over joining the Dolphins after "retiring" last season and replacing Michael Irvin on ESPN as the fugly suit wearing ex receiver. Does a WR corps of Ted Ginn (and his family), Derek Hagan, and Me-shawn make your toes tingle? Not so much.

Keyshawn Johnson has a job that most of his former
NFL peers envy. The veteran wideout made a smooth segue from the football field
to the broadcast booth, and now he gets paid a hefty salary to talk about the
game on ESPN.

There's just one catch: After spending a season watching
many receivers he believes aren't as good as he was, Johnson is strongly
considering a comeback.

"I like challenges," Johnson told Yahoo! Sports
on Monday. "The challenge of helping to turn a team around, to help get it to
the next level, that gets my competitive fires burning. I have the itch, and
right now I'm trying to decide how strong that itch is."

Whether those
feelings will compel Johnson, who'll turn 36 in July, to return to the league
will likely depend on the way in which potential employers perceive his current
value. A three-time Pro Bowl selection with 10,571 career receiving yards,
Johnson says he'll decide in the next few days whether to pursue a return to the
playing field.

After catching 70 passes for 815 yards in 2006 with the
Carolina Panthers, his fourth team in 11 NFL seasons, Johnson was released and
attracted interest from several suitors, most notably the Tennessee Titans. In
May, he turned down a two-year contract offer worth nearly $8 million from the
Titans, instead signing a lucrative, four-year deal with ESPN.

Johnson declined to get into monetary specifics Monday, it is not likely that
his asking price has come down. Yet the amount of cash he is likely to seek from
an NFL team might not be realistic for someone in his situation.

wouldn't pay him that much," says Dallas Cowboys president Stephen Jones, who
has maintained a good relationship with Johnson since he was released by the
Cowboys following the 2005 season. "We have a player who is kind of like him in
Patrick Crayton, and age is an issue. Plus, he's been out of football for a
year, and it's not like (he got faster). Mother Nature doesn't work that way."

Another person who has final say over his team's roster expressed a
similar sentiment, saying, "He's a very good player, but if anything, his value
has gone down a little. He wasn't super fast to begin with, now he has been away
for a year."

Johnson has been working out regularly since January and
scoffs at the notion that his skills have diminished. It's true that many NFL
talent evaluators cite Johnson's blocking ability, willingness to battle
defenders on the backside during running plays and ability to make the tough
catches on third down and in the red zone as assets that transcend his
statistical value. He believes that he would also provide leadership and the
ability to mentor young receivers.

When he talks about "helping to turn
a team around," it's hard not to think about the Miami Dolphins. New Dolphins
vice president of football operations Bill Parcells has remained close with
Johnson, whom he coached in Dallas and New York (with the Jets, who made Johnson
the No. 1 overall pick out of USC in 1996), and the two spent last season
together appearing on ESPN's Sunday and Monday night pregame studio shows. The
two men speak frequently, though Johnson says they have not discussed his
possible signing with the Dolphins in anything but an abstract sense.

Parcells, through a Dolphins spokesman, declined to
comment on Johnson's potential return.

Other potential suitors could
include the Titans and Oakland Raiders, each of whom expressed serious interest
in Johnson last spring; the Redskins, who under owner Daniel Snyder have a
history of shelling out cash for big-name veterans; the Buccaneers, who inquired
about signing Johnson to a bargain-basement deal toward the end of the '07
regular season; and the Patriots, who reportedly will pass on picking up a $6
million option bonus for wideout Donte' Stallworth (thus making him a free
agent). Johnson is close with Patriots coach Bill Belichick, though it is
unlikely New England would covet Johnson at the numbers he believes he's worth.

The Bucs scenario is especially intriguing, given that Johnson was
deactivated (and essentially banished) for the final six games of the '03
regular season after he feuded with coach Jon Gruden, for whom he won a Super
Bowl the previous year. Yet Johnson, traded by Tampa Bay to the Cowboys for Joey
Galloway in March '04, gave serious consideration to the Bucs' offer last
December and says he absolutely is not averse to playing for Gruden again.

As athletes-turned-commentators go, Johnson has a pretty sweet situation
with ESPN and its parent company, Disney. Like Tiki Barber's deal with NBC,
which includes a part-time role for the ex-New York Giants halfback on the "The
Today Show," Johnson's pact includes potential for crossover appearances on
programs like ABC's "Dancing With Stars." On Monday he filled in for Jim Rome as
a guest host on ESPN's "Rome is Burning."

Reminder: Saturday Night Live returns this week

since they settled the Writer's Strike, SNL comes back this Saturday with host (and former head SNL Writer) Tina Fey of 30 Rock and musical guest Carrie Underwood. I am hoping for a great show.

In honor of the always funny 30 Rock, I give you the full version of "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah"

Monday, February 18, 2008

Trailer: Pineapple Express

the latest Judd Apatow production, this one written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg - they wrote Superbad.

This looks like a must-see, starring Rogen and his Freaks & Geeks co-star James Franco, and from the trailer we saw (I think) Rosie Perez, Ed Begley, Nora Dunn, the guy who plays Daryl on "The Office", and the great Gary Cole.

A good angle

I saw this story on the internet and found a corresponding youtube video. I don't really watch wrestling much anymore but do keep up on some websites. Here is an angle that was on the WWF pay per view last night. Apparently the Big Show returned after some time off, and bragged he lost over 100 pounds (he does look svelte). He attacked Rey Misterio who looks like he just finished a match. Show taunted Floyd Mayweather who was in the audience and I guess they said he was friends with Rey.

As Show lifts Rey up for a choke slam, Floyd jumps into the ring and confronts Show. Now Show is a legit 6'9-6'10. He was a college basketball center back in the day and he is about a foot or so taller than Floyd and outweighs him by probably 225 pounds. So Show got on his knees and dared Floyd to hit him... and Floyd does, apparently stiff potato shots and I bet they broke Show's nose (you can see him bleeding from the nose and mouth at the end of the video), Show probably told Floyd to make sure they look real in the dressing room.

Well done angle, the crowd was into it, I bet this is the kind of thing that gets most casual fans to buy Wrestlemania, which I assume is what they will be wrestling or boxing at. WWF has had success with this before -- Lawrence Taylor vs the late Bam Bam Bigelow was a main event at a Wrestlemania and I believe Mike Tyson refereed a Shawn Michaels vs Steve Austin match at a Wrestlemania and culminated in Tyson punching out Steve Austin.

Watch the angle in it's entirety here (until Youtube deletes it for copyright violation anyway):

The End of Friday Night Lights? SAY IT AIN'T SO

E! online is reporting that NBC might be putting this fantastic show on the chopping block. It gets no ratings, but to me, that is because NBC never promoted it correctly - first marketing it as a football show (which it really isn't) then sticking it on Friday Night wasteland when no one watches TV.

It is a character driven show in small town Texas with high school football as the backdrop. The main characters are the head coach and his wife, played by Kyle Chandler & Connie Britton who act the HELL out of their parts. The stories are made up of the high school football players lives and how they intertwine with each other. It's as much a story about football as, say, Little House on the Prairie was about the westward expansion of the US or The West Wing is about politics. Those are the backdrops, but you watched those shows for the character's stories. You can watch episodes for free on or buy season 1 for less than $20.

There is an online movement here to save the show. At the very least, watch season 1 (they just wrapped season 2) before it goes the way of Arrested Development, Freaks & Geeks, Sports Night, The Ben Stiller Show & Montel Williams Show among others that were cancelled well before their time. Ok, maybe Montel deserves the ax after 17 years of Psychics trying to find out who the baby daddy is.

Marlins new stadium pics

these are renderings the Marlins released on the proposed new Orange Bowl-site stadium. First pic is with the roof open and the second pic is closed.

Pretty snazzy, no?

Friday, February 15, 2008

Where Shaq Happens

GREAT spoof of those NBA "Where..... happens" commercials

Pat Riley - Hall of Fame Finalist

per the Sun-Sentinel:,0,3210418.story

South Florida
Pat Riley named Hall of
Fame finalist
By Ira Winderman

3:10 PM EST,
February 15, 2008

Heat coach Pat Riley was one of 15 finalists named
Friday for potential induction into the Basketball Hall of Fame.

in his first year of eligibility, now needs a minimum of 18 of the 24 votes from
the Hall's Honors Committee for enshrinement.

The Hall's Class of 2008
will be announced on April 7, prior to the NCAA Men's Division I championship
game in San Antonio. Enshrinement will be at the Naismith Memorial Basketball
Hall of Fame in Springfield, Mass., Sept. 4-6, 2008.

Riley addressed the
possibility before the Heat played Thursday night in Chicago.

"When I
started my career, I was one of the fortunate ones," he said of breaking in with
a Los Angeles Lakers team that included Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and
James Worthy. "I started with a great team, great players, all of them Hall of
Famers or going to be, and it just sort of jump-started me.

"In New York
I had great players. Here I've had great players."

The 15 finalists
include 10 candidates from the North American Screening Committee: former
players Patrick Ewing, Adrian Dantley, Dennis Johnson, Hakeem Olajuwon and Chris
Mullin; coaches Don Nelson and Riley; and contributors Victor Bubas, Bill
Davidson and Dick Vitale.

In a statement released by the Heat, Riley
noted the opportunity to be inducted alongside Ewing, the cornerstone of his
Knicks teams.

"Having Patrick Ewing inducted with me would be
incredible," he said. "To have one of my favorite all-time players that I
coached be inducted at the same time, if it were possible for both of us, would
have a special added meaning for me."

Named finalists by the Veteran's
Screening Committee were former players Richie Guerin and Johnny 'Red' Kerr. The
International Screening Committee forwarded the names of two Brazilians, coach
Togo Soares and player Maciel Ubiratan Pereira, while the Women's Screening
Committee nominated coach Cathy Rush.

Riley said the nomination for
induction made him reflect back to his father, Lee, who never got to see him

"It is meaningful from the standpoint that I believe that I have
made my father very, very happy," he said. "And that would be the most
meaningful feeling that I would have from it, that he would know that what I did
mattered and counted in my career as a coach."

Riley stands as the third
winningest coach in NBA regular-season history, at 1,204-669, and ranks second
in playoff victories, at 171-111. He has earned seven NBA champion rings -- five
as a head coach, one as an assistant coach and one as a player.

He was
able to bypass the traditional five-year waiting period because he has coached
for more than 25 seasons. If elected, Riley would join coaches such as Red
Auerbach, Lenny Wilkens and Phil Jackson in the Hall.

"All I did from
day to day is coach," Riley said. "That's what my job was, that's what my
passion was, and the fact that now it's something I'm being considered for is
just mind blowing to me, that I would ever be in that kind of company."

Riles should be a shoo-in and will surely deserve it. Ewing & Hakeem also should be unanimous.

Lost 4.3 recap: The Economist

SPOILER ALERT - do not read this if you haven't seen the episode

I thought this was another strong, fast paced effort. 4.3 opened up in a flash forward. We see Sayid on a golf course alone, contentedly hitting golf balls towards the green. He looks very....groomed. A fellow golfer drives up in a golf cart, and remarks how he hasn't seen any other golfers for hours and Sayid says that's what they are paying the high price of admission for. The interrupting guy bets Sayid 100 euros that he can get closer to the hole with his 5 iron than Sayid can with his 7 iron. Sayid agrees. The guy then asks Sayid where he recognizes him from and Sayid tells him "I am one of the Oceanic 6 (so now we know 4 of the 6 - Jack, Kate, Hurley & Sayid) and that he received a large cash settlement that allows him to live the life of luxury. This unnerves the 2nd guy, who nonetheless wins the bet. He refuses his winnings, but Sayid insists. He refers to the guy by name (I didn't catch the name, but we know now that Sayid knew who the guy was all along), and Sayid digs into his golf bag (presumably for the euros) but pulls a gun out and shoots the guy dead, very assassin like. My name is Jarrah, Sayid Jarrah. And I'll take my dirty bottle of dysentary water from the puddle on the island shaken, not stirred.

Cut back to present day on the Island. Sayid is in prayer, and then goes over to Naomi's dead body and closes her eyes. He looks at her silver bracelet that says "N, I'll always be with you - R.C." Sayid makes a deal with Frank Lapidus the scruffy helicopter pilot that if he rescues Charlotte from Locke, he gets to go back to the ship with Frank. Frank agrees. Jack, ever the controller wants to come along, but Sayid says that the last time Jack saw Locke he had a gun to Locke's head and pulled the trigger. Locke might not be so happy to see him. Jack lets Kate go in his place, and Sayid, Kate, and Miles Strom go off to find Locke and negotiate Charlotte's release. Sayid wants to know why they had a picture of Desmond and Penny, none of the rescuers has an answer. Juliet is dispatched to the beach to fetch Dez to see if he has any idea why they have that photo.

Flash forward to future Sayid. He is in Berlin (quick question: which is the better Berlin song? "Take My Breath Away" or "Riding on the Metro"?) and sees a pretty blonde lady (Elsa) sitting alone in a German cafe (Starb├╝cks?). Sayid pretends to looks lost and makes small talk with her. He asks her on a date and she agrees. We find out she works for an economist and is his Gal Frauday (sorry) while he is in Berlin, once or twice a year. She carries around an ancient looking beeper and is at his Beck's (sorry) and call. When he steps out of the cafe he calls someone on the cell phone (the CIA? Someone higher up than the CIA -like Oprah?) and it is known that he is trying to hook up with Blondie so he can whack her boss. Or off her boss. Or whack off her boss (credit for that one goes to Family Guy).

Back to present day. Sayid, Kate, & Miles are in the Other's compound (kind of like Pleasantville in Jonestown). They are looking for traces of Locke's party. They hear muffling from one of the houses and investigate. Kate discovers Hurley tied up in a closet with a gag over his mouth. Sayid, Kate & Miles rescue him, and he tells them that Locke has gone batty, is talking to Walt's ghost, is taking Charlotte hostage against Hurley's wishes, and basically is off the reservation. He then mentions that Locke and the gang were heading over to Ben's house before taking off again. They decide to go to Chateau d'Linus and see what they find.

They split up in Ben's house, and Sayid finds a room hidden behind a bookcase in Ben's den. (Did anyone else think of Young Frankenstein during this scene? When Sayid is pushing on the fake bookcase, I kept thinking - PUT ZEE CANDLE BACK!). Sayid finds a room full of fancy suits and ties and a drawer full of dozens of fake passports with Ben's photo on them and drawers full of currency from different countries around the world. Ben definitely goes on a lot of vacations.

Back by the helicopter, nervous nellie Daniel Faraday is conducting an experiment with Regina from the ship. Daniel sets up some sort of antenna or beacon emitter or something and is expecting some sort of arrival as the voice on the ship counts down the distance remaining till whatever is supposed to happen happens... 20 kilometers away.... 10 kilometers away.... 5 kilometers away... then nothing. Daniel says this is more than weird and very unexpected. Later on, out of the blue a rocket comes in and lands on his antenna. He pulls out a stopwatch from the antenna and from the rocket that just landed... apparently they are supposed to be in sync, as they presumably were set at the same time, but the one on the island watch is behind the one sent from the ship. Time moves slower on the island, apparently... or they are in some sort of time warp.

Back at Ben's pad - Kate is looking around Ben's bedroom, full of African masks on the wall, and as she turns around Sawyer is there with his gun over his shoulder. He puts his index finger over his lips in the international symbol of "shush", but Kate hollers for Sayid. She realizes they have been duped. Sayid turns around and is met by Locke holding his gun out. Hurley apologizes to Sayid for trapping them.

Danielle also apologizes and points a gun at Sayid and walks him into the faux-prison/ping pong game room. Hurley follows them several yards back and Sayid assures him that he won't hurt the portly fellow. Hurley replies with the line of the night "that's alright, dude, I saw how you snapped that guy's neck with that breakdancing move, I'll stay back here". They put Sayid in the rec room and we see that Ben is there too, tied up.

Locke comes in with a pitcher of iced tea (what, no Kool-Aid?) in a show of good will. Sayid & Locke have a meeting of the minds, where Sayid tells Locke he agrees that these people are not here to rescue them and he can get on their ship and find out what they want if he comes back with Charlotte. Locke tells Sayid that Bug Eyed Ben has a mole already on the ship, but won't reveal who. Sayid says "the day I start trusting Ben is the day I sell my soul".

Meanwhile, back in Ben's boudoir, Kate & Sawyer are having their own moment. Kate asks Sawyer why he is doing this, why he is with Locke. Sawyer replies that he has no reason to go back to civilization, there is nothing there for him (except maybe jail, hmm James?). He asks Freckles why she is with Jack, and she says it's because she believes he can get them off the island. Sawyer asks her why does she want to go back, the only thing waiting for her is a pair of handcuffs, remember she was a prisoner en route to jail when the plane crashed. She wonders how long does Sawyer think they can live there playing house like this? He says "why don't we find out?". Cool moment.

Back at the helicopter pad, Juliet returns with Desmond. Des demands some answers from Frank the Beard, who offers none. Desmond tells Frank that he doesn't believe Frank doesn't know anything and that he is joining Frank on the helicopter flight back to the ship. Sayid comes over a hill with Charlotte, back from the Others' camp. When Jack asks where Kate is, Sayid tells him Kate decided to stay (and the look on Jack's face is pure disappointment). Sayid traded Miles to Locke for Charlotte. Frank asks Charlotte if she wants to come back with him to the ship and she declines (yeah this is not suspicious at all - who the hell would leave an island that you crash landed on and were held hostage by a group of people? Sounds like Club Med!) Daniel also declines, saying he'll stay with Charlotte and wants to do more experiments. Daniel warns Frank that he has to stay on the same exact bearing that they came in on - "whatever you do". Methinks Dan is afraid the chopper will hit a time warp. It's just a jump to the left....and then a step to the right! Jack also decides to stay on the island. They have room for 3 passengers, so it is Desmond, Sayid, and on Sayid's suggestion, Naomi's body. They take off and Sayid is pensive as he looks down at the island he has been trapped on for 100 days. How do I know it's been 100 days? Jack had one of those contrived LOST non-sequitur moments where he asks Frank if the Red Sox really won the World Series (the 2004 World Series) then remarks he can't believe he hasn't seen a game in 100 days. Is it really 100 days, or has it been like, years? If the stopwatches were I think 35 minutes apart... then does time move slowly here? Each minute on the island is 35 minutes in "real time"? Hmm

Flash forward to future Sayid again. He is with Elsa in bed, basking in that post coital glow that secret agents bask in. Elsa asks him why she doesn't know anything about his job, why he has secrets. She understands why he doesn't talk about the plane crash, but people in love (oh, she said it out loud) don't have secrets. Sayid says "it's just a job, nothing to worry about". Her beeper circa 1995 starts buzzing and she jumps out of bed and goes to the other side of the room and starts getting dressed. She has to meet her boss right away. I notice she doesn't mind meeting her boss with Sayid's love juice still on her... gross. Sayid, in a pang of remorse tells her she needs to leave Berlin right away, that something bad is going to happen to her boss, that her boss is not really an economist and she might be implicated in what is going to ensue.

Elsa replies to Sayid and asks him if he is there to kill her boss... if that he pretended to love her only to get close to this guy and kill him? (Man, she put 2+2 together really fast and this made me suspicious)... she comes out of the bathroom and immediately SHOOTS Sayid in the shoulder. She calls her boss on the cell phone - she was a secret agent too! She knew Sayid was an agent and she was sent to dupe him! She's talking in German to her boss, she left Sayid alive right now to find out who he's working for but will kill him if she didn't get the information... yadda yadda yadda.... Sayid hurls something at the mirror and breaks it into a million pieces (uh-oh, 7 years bad luck!!!). Elsa comes out and Sayid pulls his gun and shoots her twice in the chest, killing her. Call me crazy, but as Sayid was crying over her dead body I thought she had a silver braclet similar to Naomi's. But wouldn't Sayid surely have noticed that before?

We see Sayid limp into a vet's office with yelping dogs caged up. Presumably his boss is there, and is tending to his shoulder. We slowly see the camera pan to his boss....and it... is BEN! DAMN, son! We learn that Ben recruited Sayid into killing for him, and that there is a list of people to be disposed of. Ben hints that Sayid is doing this to protect his friends (which friends? The Oceanic 6? The castaways who remained on the island?).


Thursday, February 14, 2008

My Zach Thomas Story

In the fall of 2001, weeks after 9/11, my buddy J-Rod got comped for a free room at the Atlantis Resort and Casino in Paradise Island in the Bahamas. I went along with him and our first night there was very memorable.

J-Rod was playing blackjack somewhere, and I wanted to play some craps. I was at a table with a few people, and a familiar face comes up next to me and starts gambling, wagering A LOT more than the $10 minimum. It was Jay Fiedler, the then-starting quarterback for the Dolphins. The Fins were on a bye week and I figured he decided to come to relax.

I didn't want to be geeky nerdy Fin fan fawning over Jay, so I played it cool. I pretended I didn't know who he was while I figured out how to sneak in an ice breaker. We played next to each other not saying anything for about 5 or 10 minutes, then the shooter rolled a "9" (Jay's uniform number), and I had my break. I turned to him and said "YOU of all people didn't play nine?" -- he started cracking up and slapped me on the back. I told him I was a big fan, and I think he appreciated I wasn't a drooling idiot who was pestering him for autographs as soon as he came by.

Right after that Zach Thomas walked by and Jay called him over. He told Zach to play with us, and Zach did, both of them betting with black or purple chips (100s or 1000s) and me with my tiddly wink red $5 ones.

The momentum of the table died and, as craps tables are prone to do, the table broke up. Jay & Zach wanted to play blackjack and to my shock wanted me to play with them. They were calling me "Big 6" because I kept playing 6 on the craps table. "Come on Big 6, come hang with us and play blackjack". I had like no money left but I said ok. I told them I'll be right back as I ran to the ATM and took out the max I could (I think $500) and grabbed J-Rod (me: "The Dolphins want us to play blackjack with them, come on!" Jrod: "I'm a Jets fan") fuckin' Jrod. But we went to play with them.

We sat down with Zach & Jay at a $50 table (I was fainting, I only had enough for 10 hands). When we sat down, Zach gave the cocktail waitress $100 and said keep coming by to refresh us (she did). Zach regaled Jay, J-Rod, and me with hilarious stories. When I told Jay and Zach that J-Rod was a Jets fan, they both did the "J-E-T-S! JETS JETS JETS" chant, and Zach said something like "great, now it'll be in the papers that Zach Thomas and Jay Fiedler did the fuckin' Jets chant". He told us of his last trip to Atlantis with his buddy Larry Izzo, Izzo having lost a lot of money at the roulette table. He told Izzo that he'd win it back for him... Izzo replied that if Zach was able to win that amount back, he'd {bleep}Zach's {bleep}. Zach, the consummate winner he is, did win the money back for Izzo but declined the repayment.

I was down to my last $50, and put my last chip down, and got an 11. I didn't even have $50 in my wallet to double down on my hand. Jay Fiedler gave me $50 out of his own stack and insisted I take it (I protested, I didn't want his money, but he wouldn't take no for an answer), and sure enough I got a picture card, giving me a twenty-one. I distinctly remember Zach high fiving me and letting out a whoop of glee. Here he was betting hundreds (at least) per hand and he was glad I won $100 bucks.

They were so down to earth and treated us so kindly, we were two fans in our mid 20s and they acted like we were lifelong friends.

It is a sad day to see Zach, one of the all time great Dolphins be released. I said before I hope he retires for his sake, but if he plays I hope he has a great healthy season and wins a Super Bowl. As great a player as Zach is, he is a better person. I wish him all the best.

New Indiana Jones 4 Trailer

Don't say "Pussy", Say "Vagina", Don't say "Pussy", Say "Vagina"

anyone remember that Andy Kindler bit? Jane Fonda doesn't...This is a clip from the Today Show this morning...

hmm, the embedding seems to be working sporadically, here is the link to the Fonda clip in case it doesn't show on the blog

Zach Thomas to be cut from the Dolphins

Big news out of Davie, as 7 time Pro Bowler and fan favorite Zach Thomas will be released by the Dolphins as soon as today. I hope Zach takes this in stride and decides to retire for his health's sake, but according to the Sun-Sentinel he wants to continue playing. I bet he goes to the Patriots and re-joins buddy Larry Izzo and can be a role player for their linebacker corps, perhaps even replacing former teammate Junior Seau.

Here is the Sun-Sentinel article.,0,5168447.story
Dolphins to release fan favorite Zach Thomas
Omar Kelly
1:04 PM EST, February 14, 2008

Pro Bowl linebacker Zach Thomas has
been informed that his tenure as a Miami Dolphin has come to an end.According to
a source, Thomas, 34, was told by the Dolphin's new management that he no longer
fits into the team's long-term plans, and will be released today.Instead of
playing out the final year of his contract, which was set to pay him just under
$6 million, the seven-time Pro Bowl selection will be shopping for a new team
because he plans to continue playing.Thomas, a fifth-round pick in 1996 who has
led the Dolphins in tackles 10 of his 12 seasons, had the 2007 season shortened
because of a concussion he suffered in the second game of the season against
Dallas. He came back and played three games after a two-week hiatus but was
sidelined again due to concussion-like symptoms, stemming from an October car
accident he was involved while leaving Dolphin Stadium after a loss to the
Patriots.Thomas contributed 52 tackles in the five games he played last
season.New General Manager Jeff Ireland admitted that as a fellow Texan, he's a
fan of Thomas, going all the way back to Thomas' college days at Texas Tech. But
following a 1-15 season the Dolphins are working feverishly to retool the
roster, and are creating salary cap space to do so. Earlier this week the
Dolphins released nine players, which included four starters.Thomas' departure
means Channing Crowder, who led the team with 78 tackles in an injury-shortened
season, will likely fill in as the team's middle linebacker unless the Dolphins
address that position when free agency starts at the end of the month, or in
April's draft.

Booty Time

" Orange County sheriff's deputies used a Taser to subdue
NFL free agent Josh Booty when became combative while being booked for
investigation of drunken driving. A sheriff's spokesman says Booty was arrested
by the California Highway Patrol early Wednesday for investigation of driving
under the influence after he was pulled over for a traffic violation in Santa
Ana. Booty is the older brother of USC quarterback John David Booty. Orange
County sheriff's Lt. Hal Brotheim says Booty became belligerent while being
processed and deputies used a Taser to subdue him. Officials say Booty was
released several hours later with a citation advising him of a date to appear in
this is notable for South Florida fans for a couple of reasons. One, Josh's brother, former USC QB John David Booty is in the 2008 draft and might be considered by the Dolphins with one of their 3rd or 4th round picks. Two, Josh Booty was one of the biggest busts in Marlins draft history. In 1994, Dave Dombrowski selected him 5th overall out of high school and gave him a giant signing bonus at the time that prevented him from playing college football. He was terrible. He did have a small cup of coffee with the Marlins but eventually was released. Later draft picks from that class were Nomar Garciaparra (12th), Jason Varitek (#14) & Troy Glaus (#37)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Marlins: Addition by Subtraction

from today's Miami Herald -

"Marlins: Immaturity was a problem in '07
After an offseason self-evaluation, second-year manager Fredi Gonzalez said he's ''going to do some stuff different'' -- including a bigger emphasis on defense after the Marlins committed a baseball-leading 137 errors last season. With spring training opening next week, defense and starting pitching are by far the biggest areas where Florida must show growth.
But two respected veteran Marlins (closer Kevin Gregg and catcher Matt Treanor) spoke last week of a behind-the-scenes dynamic that also must change: a need for more seriousness and professionalism. A lot of Marlins players are fine in those areas, but some behavior caused one Marlins employee to call last year's clubhouse the most immature he has ever seen.

''It's the understanding of the seriousness of what we're doing here. They're having a good time, and that's what we want to do, but there's a fine line that has to be drawn, and sometimes, we went under that line of where we needed to be -- before, during and after games,'' said Gregg, who obviously won't publicly identify line-crossers.

Gregg said Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera -- both now with Detroit -- were cast in a role ''where they were looked up to'' and they ``handled some things differently than I would have handled them. Being a first-year guy, I wasn't in a spot to say some things that probably should have been said.''

Treanor was more blunt: ''If you can't handle your business, I don't think you should be joking and laughing,'' he said. ``If you give a half-hearted effort because you'd rather be joking around in the clubhouse or worried what's going on after or before the game, you're not here doing your job. Maybe this year, I'm going to assume more of a leadership role . . . if I see stuff like that. This year, our clubhouse is going to be about business.

``We're going to be more professional, [showing] more respect for each other and what we're trying to accomplish. There was behavior [last year] you wish you could take back or maybe addressed [immediately] because if you let people do something, anytime there's not that full respect, we're not cohesive and that translates to our play. If people are acting up, it will be addressed a bit closer than years past.''

Sophomoric behavior is a part of any baseball clubhouse, more so with a team as young as the Marlins. But the extent of it troubled several players. Gregg and Treanor didn't offer examples, but other Marlins people spoke of players leaving visiting clubhouses a mess and other immature antics, including one involving Cabrera on the team plane. The Marlins weren't always happy with Cabrera (weight, body language, a few instances of tardiness), but his bat obviously will be missed.

Asked how Cabrera's departure will change clubhouse dynamics, Treanor said, ``Whatever Miguel did, he came out and [performed]. . . . [But] if you happen to be doing something that somebody follows you around, you have to look at yourself and say maybe it's not bad for me, but it is bad for somebody else.''

Treanor and Gregg don't blame Gonzalez for off-field shenanigans, with Gregg noting, ''Fredi can't be holding our hands. He's not our father. It's 100 percent on the players.'' Luis Gonzalez's leadership should help, and that's one reason the Marlins are paying him $2 million, with another $1 million in incentives.

''Players need to police themselves,'' Marlins executive Larry Beinfest said.

• Fredi Gonzalez asserted the ''discipline was fine'' and that he addressed any issue privately. One thing Gonzalez will change?

'We are going to emphasize defense more to the players, and make it a pride thing. Nobody is going to get lined up and shot. [But] you make a dumb error, we're going to look at you and go, `Come on' or even guys among themselves. Our pitching staff made [an MLB-high] 20 errors. Some of our young guys, this is their third year, they're not young anymore.''

I think it's pretty clear they are referring to Cabrera's attitude. He came into spring training out of shape and disinterested, his defense was horrendous, and there were reports of the attitude problem heading back to 04 and 05. Remember in Jack McKeon's last year, there were those rumors that Cabrera was late to batting practice, didn't shag fly balls and was selfish in the clubhouse? Here is what was reported in 2005 on

If the Marlins' clubhouse were a baseball, it might be coming apart at the seams.
A.J. Burnett was sent home this week by the team after derogatory remarks he made about the franchise. But of even greater concern might be the attitude of budding star Miguel Cabrera.

The Palm Beach Post reported that Cabrera's teammates and some Marlins officials are concerned about the 22-year-old slugger's attitude and work ethic.
Cabrera was not in the lineup Monday, serving a one-game suspension for showing up late to a game in Atlanta on Sunday. He also wasn't in the lineup last Thursday in New York after not reporting on time to a medical treatment after fouling a ball off his knee the night before, the newspaper reported.
Also, Cabrera stopped shagging fly balls in July and August, instead sitting in the dugout with friends from his native Venezuela, the Post reported, and only resumed the pregame activity after a talk with Hall of Famer Tony Perez, a special assistant for the team.
"Sometimes fame comes too quickly," Perez told the Post. "He has the ability; everybody knows that. He's got a great future ahead of him, but that's up to him."
Cabrera's attitude has cost him respect in the clubhouse, some Marlins players told the Post. Marlins veteran
Jeff Conine told the newspaper that a player should have a heart to heart with Cabrera.
Cabrera isn't in the mood for a lecture, however.
"[Forget] the veterans," he told the Post. "They haven't told me anything and they better not come tell me anything, either.
"I don't want to hear anything else. I want to play baseball, give what I have to give on the field of play, and win. That's all I want. ...
"Everyone here is a grown man," he told the newspaper. "Everyone knows what he's doing. And I'm not going to go crazy worrying about these things."
Perez told the Post he believes Cabrera is just going through a phase.
"I think he sees that baseball is what he wants to do, what he loves. He has all my support, but he has to be willing to listen. What you say can't go in one ear and out the other," he told the newspaper.

If he acted that way with a room full of oldtimers like Hall of Famer Tony Perez, Lowell, Conine, & Delgado, imagine how he acted on a losing team full of rookie and second year players. I am not saying the Marlins won't desperately miss his stats, but maybe they'll have a more mature attitude and it translates to the field.

Oy, there goes the neighborhood

Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama owes a lot of his campaign's success to the porcelain gods.

According to the Jewish weekly newspaper The Forward, Obama's Chicago house sits directly across the street from KAM Isaiah Israel, the city's oldest synagogue. Because of its proximity, Obama's Secret Service agents have been reportedly spending a lot of time in the temple -- especially when they need to use the bathroom.

''They came in to introduce themselves and to apologize in advance for any disruption that their presence might have,'' said Sandy Lieberman, KAM's executive director. Lieberman, in turn, offered to let them use the synagogue's restrooms.

The bathroom deal was flush with issues, however. At the beginning of Obama's campaign, Secret Service agents would try to get into KAM at night, setting off the synagogue's alarm. ''But they've gotten the knack of it,'' Lieberman said, adding that the agents have been ''extremely nice,'' even participating in programs with the temple's nursery school students.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Shaq Fu? More like F-U Shaq.

Fuck you, Shaq, you classless ass.

"O'Neal said he's looking forward to playing with Nash, a two-time MVP who is adept at finding teammates for wide-open shots in the Suns' free-flowing attack.

"I've never had a point guard like him," O'Neal said. "As I was telling Steve, I haven't got an easy bucket in six years."

How many easy buckets did Wade get him? Hundreds? Kobe before that? I thought when Shaq left Miami it would be graceful and classy, no need for the acrimony like when he left LA, but Shaq is like a school on Christmas. No class.

blog stats

2 weeks, almost 650 page views, and we doubled the amount of people subscribing to a feed of the blog from last week to this week (click on that orange icon on the right hand side to subscribe). I think that's pretty good for basically a word of mouth situation. Although I can see what keywords people googled to find me, and there were 4 for Bridget Moynihan (wrote about her in passing during the Super Bowl), a lot of LOST people, a few looking for Chris Berman cursing, and one person looking for cock and but all they found was the Pedro story.

Walton slams Shaq, Shaq slams Walton

In the following video, we hear Bill Walton criticizing Shaq. We then hear Shaq's response. Walton says that Shaq has claimed injury all season long with the Heat, that when he did play he was about to break the NBA record for most consecutive games fouling out, and then says that Shaq making proclamations that he will carry the Suns to the title as ridiculous. Shaq then says that Walton shouldn't be able to talk about him, since Walton wasn't as good a player as Shaq was, and that Walton is a hypocrite because he was often injured.

Here's the thing. Walton is 100% correct. I am no lover of Walton, he is a terrible announcer prone to hyperbole and loose dentures. However, I have seen Shaq every game since he joined the Heat and he is a man in serious decline, especially this year. If Shaq plays like he did on the Heat and thinks he is putting the Suns over the top, he is crazy. If Shaq plays like a beast and DOES put the Suns on his back, then he has been goldbricking it here for the last season and a half (only about $30 million in salary).

Also, Shaq slamming Walton's credentials is very obnoxious. Surely, Shaq has had a better career than Walton, but Shaq is arguably one of the top 10 or 20 players of all time. Walton is also one of the all time greats, a Hall of Famer in his own right, one of the top collegiate players of all time as well, before his injuries kicked in. This isn't Tim Legler or John Salley being critical of Shaq.

Shaq has always been about himself, but his genial demeanor and all around good naturedness masks it. His subtle digs at Wade, Riley, and the Heat's medical team didn't sit well with me, and this just adds to it.

Hey Chris Berman... If You Be My Bodyguard...

the guy who hates Chris Berman added a new video to Youtube.. this one apparently has Boomer talking about Al Michaels... the ending is great!

again, not safe for work and if little kids are in the room, ask them to do the earmuffs thing from "Old School"

Miami Dolphins make cap room

Call it Black Monday.

The 1-15 Miami Dolphins cut Trent Green, Marty Booker, LJ Shelton, Keith Traylor and 5 other players yesterday, clearing about $9 million in cap space, giving them an estimated $30 million in space under the cap heading into free agency.

Part of the salary cap space will be going to this year's draft class, but here are some offensive players I could see the Fins being interested in.

Quarterback: Definitely a need position, even if the Fins new brass love John Beck or if they draft Matt Ryan #1. Cleo Lemon is an unrestricted free agent and Trent Green was just cut and his career his probably over due to multiple concussions.

Derek Anderson is intriguing, but he is a restricted free agent, meaning the Browns can tender him and be eligible to match any offer a new team makes, or let him go for the new team's first and third round picks. The new team can negotiate that compensation but that's a lot to give up for a guy with a one year track record, and who may have benefitted from an awesome o-line and great skill players like Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow II, Jamal Lewis.

Todd Collins had an inspirational run in the Redskins bid to make the playoffs. He has been a career backup and is 200 years old, but if the Fins want to delay Beck or a new draftee QB for a year, he could be an option.

Rex Grossman: has had his ups and downs in Chicago, but the Bears players and coaches love the guy and gave him every chance to succeed there, and he brought them to the Super Bowl last year. Has a lot of intangibles and arm, but makes a lot of mistakes.

other interesting/recognizable UFA's: Daunte Culpepper (oy), Quinn Gray (Ft Lauderdale native), Josh McCown, Tim Rattay, Billy Volek

Running Back: Fins appear pretty OK at running back, depending on Ronnie Brown's rehab from ACL surgery and if Parcells is interested at keeping Ricky Williams cheap contract around. Jesse Chatman was servicable and he is a restricted free agent. I don't see them throwing a lot of money at RB, but some name players who are UFA include: Michael Bennett, Chris Brown, TJ Duckett, Justin Fargas, Jamal Lewis, Mewelde Moore, Musa Smith, Aaron Stecker, Michael Turner, Derrick Ward.

Wide Receivers: Definitely a need position for the Dolphins. After cutting Booker, your starting WRs are Ted Ginn (and his family) and Derek Hagan. Lot if interesting UFAs at WR, including Bernard Berrian, Drew Carter, Andre Davis, Jabar Gaffney, DJ Hackett, Bryant Johnson, Randy Moss & Ernest Wilford.

O-Line: Always tough for me to judge free agent non-skill positions, especially anonymous guys who might be 2nd stringers or who play for lesser televised teams. The Fins definitely will be looking to upgrade here. Some familiar names on the O-Line include guards: Martin Bibla (ex-Cane), Jason Fabini, Alan Faneca, Rex Hadnot, Ryan Lilja, Floyd Womack. Tackles: Flozell Adams, Jordan Gross, Max Starks.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Happy Birthday Burt!

Did you know Burt Reynolds turns SEVENTY-TWO today?

In honor of Burt's bday, I give you a clip of his finest work.

No, not Deliverance.
Not Boogie Nights.
Not the Longest Yard.
Not banging Loni Anderson when she was still hot.

It's the Cannonball Run out-takes

A Bloody Mess

scary moment from last night's Panthers game.. Richard Zednik got his neck slashed by the skate of teammate Olli Jokenen. Thankfully Zednik was rushed to surgery and reportedly is in stable condition. You can feel the concern of the Sabres' announcers - he could have bled to death.


anyone catch the Grammy Awards last night? Some good performances..

here is a clip of Beyonce & Tina Turner doing "Proud Mary" - pretty cool to see Tina out there doing her thang... she has got to be at least 70 years old and looks and moves great. I am a big fan of stuff like this - mixing contemporary artists with old stars. If you ask me, Ike & Tina Turner's song "River Deep, Mountain High" is one of the most underrated oldies songs out there - Phil Spector wrote and produced it, and he was at his Wall of Sound best.

here is Kayne West's performance of his song "Hey Mama" - now I know Kanye gets a bad rap for his persona out there, but I thought this song was poignant, we know his mother died this year from surgery complications. I dunno, his performance got to me anyway, maybe because I lost my own mother and this weekend would have been her birthday.

here is how the show opened: a "duet" with Frank Sinatra & Alicia Keys. Just contrived stuff, I wasn't a fan. Been done before, and better. Alicia should have just done some standards without digitally adding the Chairman, I know they were trying to pay tribute to the 50th Anniversary of the Grammys.

R.I.P. - Roy Scheider

Roy Scheider died yesterday in Little Rock, where he was being treated for multiple myeloma (cancer of the plasma cells). He was probably most known for his GREAT performance as the police chief in Jaws, but he was nominated for 2 Oscars for other movies: The French Connection & All That Jazz. He was 75.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Separated at Birth?

Heat center Mark Blount and Picnic Klepto Yogi Bear

courtesy of my buddy G.Cracker

The Matrix Debuts

ok, so the guy likes to hang around in a pool, being all touchy feely while being half naked with Steve Nash, Matt Leinart & Terrell Owens (you think they had chicken fights after this picture was taken? Maybe Marco Polo?), but this afternoon Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks make their Heat debut on national TV against the Lakers.

I'll be at the game to see the Matrix first hand. Pat Riley already has said he envisions a Wade-Marion tandem to be the new millenium Jordan-Pippen. Pretty heady comparisons. I am just happy to see the Heat play with some spring in their step - the last few months losing 21 of 22 games has been dreadful. This at least reinvigorates the team and fans. Riley hinted he will be dusting off the old Showtime Laker playbook (I'll believe it when I see it). Matrix is one of the league's best defenders, and it will be interesting to see if he inspires Wade on that end of the floor. Dwyane can play great D when he wants to, he just doesn't always want to.

I look forward to seeing Wade-Marion-Wright on the floor together, that is some super athleticism at work. I still think Riley has some tricks up his sleeve to add some firepower for next year by using the expirings of Williams and Davis, and perhaps Haslem, if he can upgrade at the power forward spot.

See you at the game.

PS - just because those guys are posing together like that, it doesn't make them

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Chris Berman loves to curse

here is futher fucking proof

warning: this video not safe for work or if you have children in the room

he also loves the ladies, and almost went into a Michael Scott from "The Office" Japanese impression but wisely stopped, I guess he remembered he was being filmed before he said "Me ruv you rong time". Don't believe me that Boomer has the magic touch with the fairer sex? Check out this wikipedia article "You're With Me, Leather"

Movie Review: The King of Kong

non spoiler don't worry

I am a fan of documentaries, and this was a really interesting one. If you grew up a child of the eighties like me, Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, Q-bert at the like were a big part of life. Multiply that by about 10,000 and you have the subjects of this movie.

We meet the world's best "classic" video game players. A subculture of fanatical nerds that make guys who play dungeons & dragons look like Sinatra's Rat Pack. Billy Mitchell from Hollywood, FL is the leader, figuratively (all of these pale arcade dwellers worship him) and literally (he has the recognized points record for 5 classic games). Billy has held the Donkey Kong record since 1982 - no one has broken it for 25 years. Billy brags how being the world's best video game player has shaped his life - how it has led him to be the best at what he does in business, in relationships, everything. He kind of has a messiah complex and looks like Jesus himself, if Jesus was a Donkey Kong master - and an asshole. Sure, Christ can walk on water but can he smash a few barrels with a giant mallet and get past level 21? Mitchell is FIERCELY protective of his record and his legacy in this nerd community. He is their Jim Jones, their Charles Manson, their Karl Rove if you will. (And I think you will).

We next meet family man Steve Wiebe. Steve seems like an All American guy - he lives in the suburbs of Seattle, he is married, has 2 little kids. We learn from interviews with his wife, parents, friends and brothers that poor Steve always seems to come up short in life. Despite being driven in his hobbies to the point of obsessive-compulsive disorder, he seems to be a sadsack. He was a great athlete in high school but hurt his arm and couldn't pitch in the team's championship and let his team down (he cries). He is a great musician, and was in one of Seattle's earliest grunge bands but starved trying to be a working musician (he cries). He is working for Lockheed and gets laid off for two years on the same day he and his wife close on their house (he cries). His mother even confesses she always suspected he might be borderline autistic since he was so singularly focused on things that strike his fancy. Donkey Kong becomes his next OCD hobby.

While he is laid off and looking for work, he decides he needs to do something in life that he could be successful at and have control over - so he buys a Donkey Kong console and puts it in his basement and tries to go for the world's record. We watch as it strains Steve's family as he spends his time trying for the record.

If this were pro wrestling, Steve is definitely the babyface - the good guy trying to unseat the cocky heel champion (Billy Mitchell) who denies him his due for any successes Steve earns. We watch Steve travel to enemy territory - an arcade in New Hampshire where all these video game geeks who are buddies and worshipers of Mitchell hang out - to try and break the record in person while they classlessly try and stop him from winning. We watch Steve travel to South Florida to try and challenge Mitchell in person.

This is a fascinating documentary, only about 80 minutes long but it tells a great story. It could be about any professional athletes or chess masters who compete at a high level, this happens to be about a video game that most of us spent our childhood playing. You can't help but cheer for Steve in his pursuit of unseating a legend who has been on top of this Donkey Kong world for 25 years.

I enthusiastically give this movie 4 "Lanes"

here is the trailer to King of Kong: