Separated at Birth?

Heat center Mark Blount and Picnic Klepto Yogi Bear





courtesy of my buddy G.Cracker

The Matrix Debuts

ok, so the guy likes to hang around in a pool, being all touchy feely while being half naked with Steve Nash, Matt Leinart & Terrell Owens (you think they had chicken fights after this picture was taken? Maybe Marco Polo?), but this afternoon Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks make their Heat debut on national TV against the Lakers.

I'll be at the game to see the Matrix first hand. Pat Riley already has said he envisions a Wade-Marion tandem to be the new millenium Jordan-Pippen. Pretty heady comparisons. I am just happy to see the Heat play with some spring in their step - the last few months losing 21 of 22 games has been dreadful. This at least reinvigorates the team and fans. Riley hinted he will be dusting off the old Showtime Laker playbook (I'll believe it when I see it). Matrix is one of the league's best defenders, and it will be interesting to see if he inspires Wade on that end of the floor. Dwyane can play great D when he wants to, he just doesn't always want to.

I look forward to seeing Wade-Marion-Wright on the floor together, that is some super athleticism at work. I still think Riley has some tricks up his sleeve to add some firepower for next year by using the expirings of Williams and Davis, and perhaps Haslem, if he can upgrade at the power forward spot.

See you at the game.

PS - just because those guys are posing together like that, it doesn't make them

Chris Berman loves to curse

here is futher fucking proof

warning: this video not safe for work or if you have children in the room




he also loves the ladies, and almost went into a Michael Scott from "The Office" Japanese impression but wisely stopped, I guess he remembered he was being filmed before he said "Me ruv you rong time". Don't believe me that Boomer has the magic touch with the fairer sex? Check out this wikipedia article "You're With Me, Leather"

Movie Review: The King of Kong

non spoiler don't worry

I am a fan of documentaries, and this was a really interesting one. If you grew up a child of the eighties like me, Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, Q-bert at the like were a big part of life. Multiply that by about 10,000 and you have the subjects of this movie.

We meet the world's best "classic" video game players. A subculture of fanatical nerds that make guys who play dungeons & dragons look like Sinatra's Rat Pack. Billy Mitchell from Hollywood, FL is the leader, figuratively (all of these pale arcade dwellers worship him) and literally (he has the recognized points record for 5 classic games). Billy has held the Donkey Kong record since 1982 - no one has broken it for 25 years. Billy brags how being the world's best video game player has shaped his life - how it has led him to be the best at what he does in business, in relationships, everything. He kind of has a messiah complex and looks like Jesus himself, if Jesus was a Donkey Kong master - and an asshole. Sure, Christ can walk on water but can he smash a few barrels with a giant mallet and get past level 21? Mitchell is FIERCELY protective of his record and his legacy in this nerd community. He is their Jim Jones, their Charles Manson, their Karl Rove if you will. (And I think you will).

We next meet family man Steve Wiebe. Steve seems like an All American guy - he lives in the suburbs of Seattle, he is married, has 2 little kids. We learn from interviews with his wife, parents, friends and brothers that poor Steve always seems to come up short in life. Despite being driven in his hobbies to the point of obsessive-compulsive disorder, he seems to be a sadsack. He was a great athlete in high school but hurt his arm and couldn't pitch in the team's championship and let his team down (he cries). He is a great musician, and was in one of Seattle's earliest grunge bands but starved trying to be a working musician (he cries). He is working for Lockheed and gets laid off for two years on the same day he and his wife close on their house (he cries). His mother even confesses she always suspected he might be borderline autistic since he was so singularly focused on things that strike his fancy. Donkey Kong becomes his next OCD hobby.

While he is laid off and looking for work, he decides he needs to do something in life that he could be successful at and have control over - so he buys a Donkey Kong console and puts it in his basement and tries to go for the world's record. We watch as it strains Steve's family as he spends his time trying for the record.

If this were pro wrestling, Steve is definitely the babyface - the good guy trying to unseat the cocky heel champion (Billy Mitchell) who denies him his due for any successes Steve earns. We watch Steve travel to enemy territory - an arcade in New Hampshire where all these video game geeks who are buddies and worshipers of Mitchell hang out - to try and break the record in person while they classlessly try and stop him from winning. We watch Steve travel to South Florida to try and challenge Mitchell in person.

This is a fascinating documentary, only about 80 minutes long but it tells a great story. It could be about any professional athletes or chess masters who compete at a high level, this happens to be about a video game that most of us spent our childhood playing. You can't help but cheer for Steve in his pursuit of unseating a legend who has been on top of this Donkey Kong world for 25 years.

I enthusiastically give this movie 4 "Lanes"


here is the trailer to King of Kong: